dreams

in the middle of a generic sorta dream last night, he showed up.

i was sitting on some bleachers, it seemed as we were in a gym watching a basketball game...i have the impression it was a high-school b-ball game. i could feel someone sitting on my right. out of the corner of my eye i could see it was Boris, and i smiled.

i turned and looked at him...he did the same to me. his face covered my entire sightline. he stared into my eyes, deep, deeply into my eyes. i felt his lips on mine and his embrace.

then he stood up and walked down the bleachers.

it was if he was there, like the blackbirds have been, and like the hawk was in St. Joe. there, and then deliberately turning and looking into my eyes as if to say...here i am. look at me. SEE me. know i am here. and his message was clear. i love you. i may not be there, but i love you.

the message shook me this morning, still kinda does. i write this with tears welling. but, it also expands my heart like the Grinch...as if it was two sizes too small and has now broken that x-ray machine.

i saw you. i SAW you. and i know.

i am grateful!!!