driving

it's summer vacation time. there's a highway near where i live that bisects the country. i have begun using the highway more since i started this relatively new job in April. i drive this road at least one way a day, as the station is just off it, and my house is, too.

it's fascinating to see the change in those driving this highway. always a ton of semi-trucks delivering their cargo from coast to coast and license plates revealing that fact. now, i'm seeing those far-away state plates on cars.

it's a normal day when i spy:

(yeah, Indiana can't make up its mind)


and get almost blown off the road by someone with this state's plate:







or this one (they drive fast too!):







on occasion, there's:







and even here:







but this week, in one day, i saw:

it's true! we are the crossroads of the country!!

by the way, i see one of these every day...

our new GM is from there :)

dreams

in the middle of a generic sorta dream last night, he showed up.

i was sitting on some bleachers, it seemed as we were in a gym watching a basketball game...i have the impression it was a high-school b-ball game. i could feel someone sitting on my right. out of the corner of my eye i could see it was Boris, and i smiled.

i turned and looked at him...he did the same to me. his face covered my entire sightline. he stared into my eyes, deep, deeply into my eyes. i felt his lips on mine and his embrace.

then he stood up and walked down the bleachers.

it was if he was there, like the blackbirds have been, and like the hawk was in St. Joe. there, and then deliberately turning and looking into my eyes as if to say...here i am. look at me. SEE me. know i am here. and his message was clear. i love you. i may not be there, but i love you.

the message shook me this morning, still kinda does. i write this with tears welling. but, it also expands my heart like the Grinch...as if it was two sizes too small and has now broken that x-ray machine.

i saw you. i SAW you. and i know.

i am grateful!!!

go...fast!! to this link!!!!

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/museum_of_television_and

top 100 greatest...of ALL TIME?

Rolling Stone has decided to whittle down the last 50 years of recorded rock tunes into a list of the top 100 greatest guitar songs. i don't have much quarrel with it.

a few things...

Eddie Van Halen is rockin' the flat-top and Jimmy Page is rockin' the Grandpa mullet!!!

on the back cover you'll find Kirk Hammett, Carlos Santana, Buddy Guy and John Mayer...who has an almost full-sleeved tattoo on his left arm. who knew the "your body is a wonderland" guy had a bad-ass tattoo like that???!?!

i am surprised RS included as many newer songs as they did. Bands like The Mars Volta (with Omar on the front cover!), White Stripes, and The Strokes grace the list. then there are the great classic songs. rather than reproduce the 100, i'll give you the link to check it out for yourself, complete with the ability to listen to the songs and judge for yourself:

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/20947527

my ideas? you know i'd have a few, so here it goes...

*if you're gonna list a Creedence Clearwater Revival song, why list "Born on the Bayou"? isn't "Green River" a better choice?

*no "IRON MAN???"

*Cowgirl in the Sand is their Neil Young selection...i'd go for Like a Hurricane...all the way

*Beatles...I Feel Fine. the song STARTS with feedback for cryin out loud! for 1965 that was pretty radical. and then, the finger picking George pulls on this song...genius.

*Smithereens...A Girl Like You. minor keys, dischordant, yummy

*i get "Walk This Way". classic song. but no "Sweet Emotion?" the last two minutes of this song could go on for another 14 for me with Joe Perry just shredding the strings and pulling out every sort of emotion

*i am happy to see my favorite classic Stones tune on the list..."Can't You Hear Me Knockin'"...such a GREAT song. "Brown Sugar"'s there, too. but where's "Honky Tonk Woman?" where's "Tumbling Dice?"

*Queen's "Stone Cold Crazy" should be on the list

*surf guitarist Dick Dale should be represented with "Pipeline". definitely

*anything from Van Halen's Fair Warning album should be added to the list..."Mean Street" and "Unchained" are two of Eddie's most spectacular riffs, hooks, and sound

*"Crosstown Traffic" is my favorite Jimi Hendrix song...EVER.

*and finally...HOW COULD YOU LEAVE OUT "SMOKE ON THE WATER"?????????????


And a big HOORAY for songs i never thought would make the list (but are some of my favorite guitar moments)

*Stay With Me - Ronnie Wood and Rod Stewart's Faces
*LaGrange - ZZTop. this song NEVER FAILS to make me lean over and turn the radio to 11.
*American Girl - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. yay yay yay!! TP and Mike Campbell really know how to make a guitar sound sooooo good!
*The Thrill Is Gone - BB King. i've seen BB three times over the last 25 years. he gets better and better and better each time...and the thrill never leaves
*I Ain't Superstitous - Jeff Beck. how cool Rod Stewart sings on two of the top 100 guitar songs!!
*How Soon is Now - The Smiths. love love love this song. completely unexpected to me for this to make the list

i guess Rolling Stone got me to buy a copy of the mag for the first time in a year. last issue was the one with the Police on the cover...had to read about the reunion of my favorite band of 1982!!

corey's questions...and my answers

LOST" SEASON FINALE

Will we find out who was in the coffin from last season's finale?
yep...it was jeremy :)
Why the fabricated story from the Oceanic 6 when they came home?
hurley said it...to protect those back on the island, but Jack was the one who suggested the lie...and as Locke told him...it would come back to bite him in the ass
Why 0nly those 6?
Jack, Sayid, Kate, Hurley, Sun, and Aaron were the ones on the boat, who had gotten off the freighter in the helicopter before the freighter blew.
Is Claire dead?

yep,,,she got hit on the noggin in the explosion, but didn't know there was a problem til she woke up, gave Aaron to her dad, and walked into the jungle. i believe she died in the jungle and will be found next season.
Will this be the "breath taking" episode they are promoting it to be?
oh hell yes!!!

and my question...did Jin die??

every soul is beautiful

Some angels, shelley, choose cleverly disguised lives in time and space just to help folks get past judging by appearances.

No, they're not much to look at, listen to, or dance with, and most would never guess they're angels... but that's the point.

Every soul is beautiful.


over the past few years, i have maybe gotten this one figured out. i love him, but have kept him at arm’s length for most of my life. Uncle Rich. kept him at arm’s length because he is different. at 15, he was diagnosed with epilepsy. not much was known about epilepsy in the late 1950’s. seizure “remedies”…the old “stick a piece of wood in his mouth so he won’t bite off his tongue” bit of advice…and medications have come a long way since then. i remember being a kid and Uncle Rich just being kind of “there,” but not really. the medication kept him from seizing most of the time, but also kept him pretty zombie-fied. he would play with us, but there wasn’t a lot of conversation. when he seized, his seizures were strong and scary. he wouldn’t quite grand-mal, but it was enough involuntary movement to freak out a little kid who didn’t quite understand what was going on.

but you know, even as an adult, i was unsettled, not by him, but by the disease and the possibility of something “happening.” those feelings were channeled from my mother, who doesn’t have a lot of patience for my Uncle. that’s not a judgment, just an observation. admitting to being unsettled doesn’t mean i didn’t feel compassion or that i judged what was happening. it was always just accepted as who Uncle Rich was.

i wasn’t living here when the neurologist suggested the implantation of a nerve-stimulator to help reduce his medications and the frequency of the seizures. he and Dad talked about it, and the surgery was scheduled in Indianapolis. he now walks around with this stimulator under the skin in his chest, connected to the Vagus nerve that goes straight to the area of his brain that seizes. it has allowed him to decrease the amount of meds he takes each day, and has awakened him. his senses, his speech have improved with this stimulator, and, when he starts to have a seizure, he waves the magnet he has on a bracelet around his wrist and gets some extra pulsing going to lessen that seizure.

i was unsettled until the last few years. it helped i became friends with someone who occasionally has seizures. helping him thru them online…the recognition of one coming on, followed by the post-seizure questions to get his thought patterns to return to normal…helped me understand and to respond to my Uncle in ways i hadn’t been able before knowing this friend.

being the person he checks in with when he needs help … fiercely independent, it takes a LOT for my Uncle to say he needs help … has been an enlightening experience. over the past few winters, i have taken him food and clothes shopping, to the neurologist, and along to Christmas dinner with friends. he’s a sports nut…specifically baseball and football…so we have conversations about that day’s game or who’s gonna win the Super Bowl. our conversations take longer than most, as it still takes him a while to get out the word he’s searching for. it’s a patient conversation :)

occasionally, he’ll make a comment…some sly, sarcastic remark…that will make me laugh out loud and remember there really is someone in there, inside that quiet exterior.

i was grilling burgers on Memorial Day, by myself out on the deck, when the sliding door opened and out he came. he came out and sat on the steps and asked me if i remembered the tv show “Lassie.” of course i do. who doesn’t remember Lassie…and Timmy! especially when you have a brother named Timmy. he told me he saw Timmy on an episode of “To Tell The Truth.” we talked about it for a minute and then switched to the baseball game he’d watched the night before. this conversation was smile-inducing, simply because he had never done anything like that before. he actually walked outside…sought me out…to talk to me. never in my life had that happened. it made me feel so great. feel that connection was as strong as it truly is.

then, last night, as i was standing behind him in line at the kitchen counter to dish up dinner, i had to smile at the sight before me. he was filling his plate with his back to me, his oh-so-O’Bryant male flat butt (or lack of butt) in his jeans, and the black leather belt along with suspenders holding up those jeans. one of the suspenders had come loose and was hanging up in the middle of his back. that’s my Uncle. making damn sure those pants aren’t gonna fall down.

that’s my angel. thank you God for him.