shelley<>

i'm missing the Jonas Brothers

they're on with Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark...
CNN is rocking the Lady Gaga...i don't get it but whatever. i saw Katy Perry earlier, with Carson Daly, and she was great! she sounds really good live, which was a surprise. i may have to check out a bit more of Katy.

some would find it depressing to be home watching tv on NYE, but i like it. i am not taking my life into my hands driving anywhere tonight and can enjoy a lovely cocktail. 7 minutes til 2009...

shelley<>

kathy and anderson

aren't they cute?
shelley<>

new year's eve :)

i am watching CNN tonight...Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper. its classic. Kathy cracking jokes and Anderson giggling. its soo funny to hear him giggling like a girl. he's too cute.

the fireworks in London were gorgeous.

can't wait til 2009...

shelley<>

step brothers

Corey was right. "Step Brothers" is funny. very funny.

i laughed...a LOT.
shelley<>

Merry Christmas

mass last night, presents this morning, and ham for dinner.

the only thing missing was my brother and his family. turns out that is a BIG thing to be missing.

shelley<>

ending the streak

Notre Dame, in Hawai'i for the Hawai'i bowl, are on their way to breaking a 9 game bowl game losing streak.

5 minutes left in the game and Notre Dame leads 49 to 14.

thanks for the early Christmas present Santa!!

corey

fuzzy picture cuz i was laughing so hard...

Corey's last day at the station is today. i will miss his passion and sense of humor and so many other things. he's a good guy. i wish you the best, my friend.

karen bishop

Karen has a website that i check in with occasionally. Karen writes about energy shifts and the ascension process...about how we are going thru a process that will allow us to live at a higher vibration and be able to help the world move to that higher (and better feeling) energy.

after an email prompting, i read some of what she has posted this week. i find it really profound. it resonates deep within:

"BECAUSE THE ASCENSION process creates so much loss, we can at times feel very disconnected. Our sense of security can really go through the ringer. Through this process we lose friends, family members, jobs, our old (ego) identity, our old source of financial support, our old homes, and on and on. The list can seem endless at times. And even those whom we considered our closest soul mates can end up with "another assignment" or perhaps no longer match our new vibration anymore and leave our space as well.We can easily become confused, lost, fearful, disoriented, and feel as though our barometer has gone awry.

But there is one way to really stay on track when all else fails. When it is time to make a change, (and in these times we are making changes every five minutes as we are "morphing" so fast!) we become discontented with where we are. Our work, our living situations or even perhaps our entire lives no longer feel good.This is the nudge that is guiding us to make a change. And the way to guide yourself through this change is to do what makes you feel good.

It's that simple.

If something no longer feels good to you and is not working for you anymore, discontinue it as soon as you are comfortable doing so. It is no longer working because you are no longer in that space. (DUH!! how simple!! i GET THIS!) Something new is waiting for you. If we were to stay in the old space out of mental rationalization, the new opportunities and manifestations could not find us. If there is something you always wanted to do but didn't think it made sense to do, do it anyway. If you do not know what to do, then fill as much of your day with things that make you feel great and the new will arrive on its' own.

Always, always put yourself first. Follow your heart. Make time for you and the universe will get the picture."

makes sense for you, too, doesn't it?

love actually

i've just watched "love actually" two times in a row.

i just adore this movie. and not for the reasons i used to sob uncontrollably during it. i am over that, which helps me appreciate the movie even more.

cuz at christmas you tell the truth... :)

grilled cheese!

the first one in years. pretty yummy for gf bread...

shelley<>

santa's in my house!

at least his suit is. maybe my mother does Santa's laundry?!?
shelley<>

didn't work

the "lifesaver" didn't work. it didn't knock me out the way i wanted. i needed the sleep, but only got warm and stuffed up even more.

is it cuz it wasn't the "green death" flavor and the actual NyQuil brand? i tend to believe that. so, another trip to the drugstore is in order.

lifesaver

and not cuz of the wild cherry flavor. holy cow i feel like crap. at least this helps me sleep. i have been unable to stay warm for the last 3 days. i am told that won't cause a cold or the flu, but i'm not so sure. i truly feel like crap.

taking another shot in a minute so i can sleep the rest of the day...and get better!
shelley<>

working on it

i have spent all weekend at the new house. i am back at mom and dad's for the week.

today, i finished filling the cracks in the bath and bedroom. next, its primer and paint. well, after dad helps me pull the 80's-style mirrors off the walls...all four of them adhered to the two walls alongside the huge tub. they must come down!

then it will be on to the main bath, followed by the gurst bedroom/office and then the
"closet", the third bedroom where all the dressers are stored.

then, it'll be spring, and i can plant flowers and garden!

abundance!

shelley<>

feels so good!

this weekend, i am living in my house. working on the unpacking of the stuff, the organizing of the stuff, and the figuring out why i have all the stuff is what i am semi-focused on right now.

the kitchen is almost there, my bedroom is almost there, the living room is almost there. the house is almost there.

i am grateful!

shelley<>

unpacking

one of the bathrooms is filled with empty boxes...

shelley<>

gas prices

a few months ago, i posted about how great it was that the price of gas was 2.95 per gallon.

today, i filled up my "riding-on-fumes" tank for LESS than 22 bucks.

remarkable

shelley<>

bad and good

i lost my debit card.

poo.

on the upside, my bank signed the new one up for the chance at getting my purchase for free.

yay!

Sunday

in the midst of unpacking Sunday, i was bent over into a large box in the kitchen, pulling out pots, pans and the like.

i felt a poke in my side. a slight poke, but there was something touching me. i looked to see whether i had inadvertantly moved into the corner of the island or something else.

nope.

he was just letting me know he was there, and he was happy i was there. an Uncle Rich poke.

Charlie Brown is on tonight!

Charlie Brown ... one of the Christmas traditions that must be seen, each and every Christmas. it's on CBS tonight.

watching it is like a mug of hot chocolate and sugar cookies topped with red sugar sprinkles...

rockin' out...Charlie Brown-style

the best tree EV-VER!

chicks dig musicians...

are u gonna let all this beauty go to waste? :)

doesn't anyone know what Christmas is all about?!?

that's what Christmas is all about

"that's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown"

presents don't matter, trees don't matter. being with family and remembering the birth of Jesus...that's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown

lights please...

tomorrow...

i will have my stuff out of storage and into my house. MY house. wow. that sounds so cool.

french toast

since i began this gluten-free journey, there have been foods that i have dearly missed. breakfast time tends to cause the most longing. most cereals have either flour or maltodextrin. my beloved Rice Crispies are a thing of the past! there have been some positives in the last year or so. i missed my morning toast, but found great gf english muffins. Boris made pancakes for me...light, fluffy, buckwheat-tasting pancakes with gluten-free flour that made me swoon. granted, Boris is a chef, but his experimentation helped me feel as if i can branch out a bit on my own to discover what works and what doesn't.

last Thanksgiving, i stumbled upon gluten-free croutons in the store. we made the traditional stuffing out of those gluten-free croutons and it was GOOD! i waited a bit too long this year to find them, thus the purchase of 8 dollar Glutino Corn Bread was made. i thawed the bread, cut it into cubes and used an entire box of Progresso Chicken Stock (MSG-free and gluten-free!) to moisten it. the gf stuffing was pretty tasty, i must say.

i used most, but not all, of the bread for the stuffing. i left 4 slices in the package and determined i would figure out something to do with it.

Saturday afternoon it hit me: FRENCH TOAST!

i am even more a fan of french toast than pancakes. the way the bread soaks the egg-milk mixture into all the bread pockets to soften and richen it, the crispy-golden crust, the butter turning brown in the pan as it cooks. the butter pools on the top surface of the slices lining the plate, the sweetness of hot maple syrup.

holy crap...

it was sooooo amazing. three years since i've eaten French Toast. that French Toast was worth the 2 bucks a slice.

i'm buying more bread next payday :p

grew three sizes that day...

welcome Christmas while we stand, heart-to-heart and hand-in-hand...

the grinch is on!

and not the Jim Carrey Grinch. the real Grinch!

"you nauseate me Mr Grinch...with a nauseous super-nause"

best lyrics EV-VER!

another look

taken with the camera phone. i just thought this looked cool.

silliness

the drive home tonight...during the first snowstorm of the season...was just plain silliness. it took FIVE cycles of traffic lights to get from Portage to Bendix on Cleveland Road. its normally a less than 20 second drive. tonight? 10 minutes of traffic backup. all cuz of a little snow.

free christmas trees!

yesterday morning, bright and early, we (the station...meaning me and Corey) ventured to the south side of Goshen to broadcast the fact that my client was giving away Christmas trees. the client, The Car Company, had 250 trees stacked up and ready to go on a Sunday morning. in our part of the world, car sales are prohibited on Sundays...damn blue laws...just like being able to buy alcohol or drink at a bar...ahem. pardon my rant...

no car sales so no one could say this was a promotion kinda-thing to drum up car sales. (we did have a guy call the station and ask "so what's the catch?) it was just to help out the community. they've been doing this for the past FIFTEEN years. 15 YEARS of helping those who wouldn't have a Christmas tree if not for Marlin, Jamie and all the folks at The Car Company.

the broadcast was from 9am to 11am. i pulled into the parking lot at 8:29 am, pulling around the cars already lined up for the 10am start.

Jamie and Marlin were already going from car to car, handing out candy canes, hot chocolate, coffee, doughnuts, cookies and other yummies. cars pulling into line every minute, jam-packed with people listening to our station. just before 9am, it started to snow, making the whole thing even more festive, even more Christmas-y.

some of the people i talked to had been there every year, knowing there would be no way for them to be able to give their kids or their elderly neighbors a glimmer of the holidays without this generosity. it felt warm (even tho it was FREEZING outside!) and wonderful to be a part of it.

the guys started loading trees into cars/trucks/vans/s.u.v.'s/RV's at 10am sharp. Corey and i finished the broadcast at 11am. i believe i pulled out of the parking lot at 11:25am. at that time, there were approximately 25 trees left to be handed out and the line had dwindled to nothing. i was told the trees would be gone when people got out of church and headed over to the lot. this was the fastest they've given away the trees...ever...even with snow pounding down. it's been a rough year for this county. the highest unemployment rate in the state due to high gas prices, economic downturn in the RV industry, too. yet, the Sunday after Thanksgiving, there was sun shining.

i marvel at the way life works. i have been a part of something similar to this almost every year of my radio existence. each year brings different stories and different people with hardships. each year brings a renewed gratitude for my life and the people around me. i am happy to be warm and fed, but i am most grateful for those people in my life who love and support me on a daily basis. whether or not they are physically near me each day is irrelevant. their love and thoughts are there even if they aren't.

maybe this is what every DAY should be about, no?

gather the fragments :)

from the Monday Morning Memo...found in my inbox each (duh) Monday morning:

Chapter six in John’s story about the life of Jesus tells us how he fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 2 small fishes. I have no problem reconciling God and science, so the miracle bit doesn’t stumble me in the least. The thing that fascinates me – the piece I woke up thinking about – is what Jesus said when the meal was over. “Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost.”

Consider. This was a person of unlimited resources, a man who could create abundance from nothingness, yet he said to his followers, “Gather up the fragments.”

Have you ever stopped to “gather up the fragments” of your life?

We find ourselves at Thanksgiving and Christmas confronted with life-fragments we’ve been trying hard to forget. Encounters with uncomfortable relatives bring sharp fragments to the surface. Memories of past failures and embarrassments, hard times and weird relationships emerge from conversations with people who remember us differently than we are today. And then we have to visit places we’ve been trying to forget and recall events from which we’re still recovering. Am I the only person who goes into the holiday season with mixed emotions?“

Gather up the fragments.”

Unresolved fragments are shrapnel, cutting us deeply.
Handled fragments are sandpaper, wearing off our rough edges.
Softened fragments are building blocks, giving us insights to get things done.
Celebrated fragments are nutrition, remembering past miracles in our lives.

Bright mosaics are made from gathered fragments. Broken. Colorful. Unique.

Just like the pattern of your life.

Negotiate your broken places. They allow for new connections.

Appreciate the weirdness of your past. It adds color to your future.

Celebrate your personal heritage. It beats the hell out of whining.

Happy Holidays.
Roy H. Williams

wow. gather the fragments. wisdom almost too deep to cut thru the beginning-of-the-work-week foggy brain.

gather the fragments.

chocolate news!

Larry is on TV!! check him out, in the blue polo shirt, behind the first guy in line, waiting to cast his vote for Balak Balama...

forgiveness

From A Course in Miracles:

"To forgive is merely to remember only the loving thoughts you gave in the past, and those that were given you. All the rest must be forgotten.

Forgiveness is a selective remembering, based not on your selection. For the shadow figures you would make immortal are "enemies" of reality.

Be willing to forgive the Son of God for what he did not do. The shadow figures are the witnesses you bring with you to demonstrate he did what he did not. Because you bring them, you will hear them." - A Course in Miracles, "The Shadows of the Past"

new music

i forgot how much i love working at a radio station. i say this, cuz, while "real" jobs have perks like 401K plans and life insurance, the radio biz has...

FREE CD's!!! so here are reviews of the two latest:

first up...Guns N Roses "Chinese Democracy." a loooooong 14 years between studio albums has produced something i, at first, dismissed. my initial thought was "THIS is what we've waited all this time for?" granted, i was listening to bootlegged mp3s. the sound quality wasn't the best, but it was an interesting listen, attempting to figure out where Axl's head was at.

i still don't know.

what i DO know is, after being the recipient of a generous gifting of the cd (of which i am truly grateful!), i am really liking most of it. the initial impression of a few of the songs being something that could be a hit on top40 radio with the switch out of Axl's vocals with someone like, say, Usher, hasn't changed. but, hearing all the songs together the way they were supposed to be heard has altered my opinion. it woulda sounded better in the mid 90's...been more of a surprise that would have been something new and unlike anything else out there...rather than being released after all the musical styles represented are now passe. aaahh Axl. please don't take this long to give us new music again! and, next time, please don't call it Guns N Roses. just call it Axl, cuz i'm really missing Slash and Duff.

then there's Nickelback...

the new cd "Dark Horse." it's polished, radio-ready rock for the masses. i am one of those masses. it really friggin rocks. favorite song? "something in your mouth" it makes me laugh, just like "figured you out" and "animals" did. it sticks in my head, just like "figured you out" and "animals" do. naughty naughty naughty. and i LOVE that stuff!!! yet another generous gift from the music department has me rockin' in the car no matter what...

twlight movie

i was afraid it was gonna be horrible. it wasn't. it was hard to reconcile my imagination with some of what showed itself onscreen (at first i was hating Charlie, but he quickly redeemed himself...the shots of Edward running thru the forest with Bella on his back...icky-bad! icky-bad!) but the story was told relatively well. big chunks of stuff left out, as happens with any novel-to-movie adaptation. i liked the performances. Edward worked. Bella worked.

thank God it didn't just plain suck.

house update

i am taking over the mortgage of Uncle Rich's house. Before i can move in, repairs need to be done. Dad and Mr. Griffin are doing most of the "heavy" stuff. Uncle Rich had a few seizures that had left holes in the wall board, so they have replaced those pieces. they have taken off the batten strips that cover the joints of the wall board, filled the cracks with spackle and sanded and i have primed the vinyl walls. i've texture painted the living room and kitchen. the kitchen has been painted...mostly...with semi-gloss "sherwood green" Dutch Boy paint. Mom did a bunch of the cutting-in. the guys are at the house installing new carpet today. yesterday was the ripping-out of the old carpeting. funny thing is, the new is almost the same color as the old. the old living room carpeting was pretty stained, so new stuff was important!

there are bundles of gorgeous oak laminate flooring awaiting installation in the kitchen. i am hoping to be a part of that installation.

we're on a bit of a time-crunch, as mom and dad take off for parts south of the Mason-Dixon line right after Thanksgiving, and i can use his help as long as he wants to offer it!

i will get pictures online when i can. the place looks pretty jacked up right now, but it'll be pretty soon!!

how could this NOT touch you?

wow.

WHAT??!?!?!?!?

a woman in my office this morning said her kids are so upset that they can't vote today. that they asked her this morning...who are you voting for Mom? she then told us she isn't voting for anybody...

WHAT???

women didn't get the right to vote until 1920. 19-friggin-20. one hundred fifty years AFTER this democratic country declared its independence from another country. shouldn't we always and forever vote just to be able to at least TRY to catch up with all we've missed?

i am shocked.

GET OUT AND VOTE!!!

happy halloween!

Halloween night, just before they went out trick-or-treating. don't they look sooo cute??!?!?

it's almost 10:30 am

another Monday, another week dawns. things are in such flux in the office. not so much on the radio. thank heavens. he is the one solid, can-count-on person in this whole crazy situation.

the meeting this morning had a levity that has never shown its face before. i learned a few things i didn't know before, and other stuff was re-introduced and remembered from the last time i did this.

i have been advised to keep things to myself today. maybe today isn't the time to roll out something i haven't fully researched and accumulated all the information that needs to be together for the presentation.

then again, is that just the fear talking?

just in time for Halloween

here are the "scary" rock songs i thought of while riding in the car between appointments today:

1. them bones - Alice In Chains
2. if you want blood (you got it) - AC/DC
3. frankenstein - Edgar Winter Group
4. werewolves of london - Warren Zevon
5. godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult
6. bark at the moon - ozzy
7. highway to hell - AC/DC
8. hells bells - AC/DC
9. bullet with butterfly wings ("the world is a vampire...set to drink") - Smashing Pumpkins
10. some kind of monster - Metallica
11. between heaven and hell - Dio
12. don't fear the reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
13. shout at the devil - Motley Crue
14. runnin' with the devil - Van Halen
15. sympathy for the devil - The Rolling Stones
16. black magic woman - Santana
17. voodoo chile (slight return) - Jimi Hendrix
    

that's all i could come up with during the drive today. any more you can think of?

icky bad

these are the days you are (ok, i am) a little leery about being in the car all day. not only is there construction taking place on every road i find myself driving, but people are acting just plain crazy on the roads. four ambulances have had me pulling to the side at different points today...and this accident blocked Main Street. i got freaked out enough to take a ten minute time out at Barnes and Noble to let the traffic thin out on Grape Road.

can't wait to be home tonight...

you gotta love

a day like today,
one in which there is time between
appointments to enjoy the blue sky, sunshine and the brilliant colors of the turning leaves.

fall is bursting out everywhere. tomorrow's colors could be even better, as the temperature is slated to be verrrrry cold overnight...at least colder than it has been since spring. then the weather turns icky during the day. maybe snow next Monday. ick. but i guess that means its just one day closer to summer, huh?

i just

filled my tank...13 gallons of gas... for 38.05!

abundance!

i read something today

that has really stuck around. Karen Bishop sends out these energy alerts when things around us are changing. she interprets the changes and, holy cow, has she hit a few things smack-on over the past month.

she kept saying that September was a time of rest, that there wouldn't be much activity or forward motion til the equinox and then it would get nutty.

there wasn't...and it has.

time has cranked up. tons of things to do. projects are started and then left to start another. nothing seems to be completed.
she says if you are in alignment with the new vibrationa
energy this will happen as we have one foot in the old reality and one in the new. that we may still need to finish some of the old stuff while getting ready for the new.

but the thing that has been stuck on replay has been this:
if we had not had George Bush as president for the past 8 years we wouldn't be where we are now, in a space where enough people are ready and willing for change...for a new and higher way of being and living. George Bush had to shake things up for us. He did a wonderful job and he did his job well. he was just part of our ascension process, and at his soul level, he knew exactly what he was doing. We are all in this together.

wow. shook me to the core. and, on the other hand, made me laugh and say "at least, on his soul's level SOMEONE knew what he was doing!"

i spoke too soon

final score...North Carolina 29, Notre Dame 24.

first half went well for the Irish...not so much the second half. North Carolina's defense came out ready to play and rolled over our guys.

oh well. still better than last season. we rest this Saturday and are back on the road the following Saturday.

so far so good

on the way to the first road win of the season. after the first half, it's Notre Dame 17 North Carolina 9

whaaaaa??

the gas pump from which i withdrew a tankful yesterday. this particular pump is in a town 30 miles from my home...and almost 50 cents cheaper per gallon from the one just down the street from my humble abode.

wtf?

the sweep

wow…the Dodgers swept the Cubs. Cubbies second post-season in a row of suckage. i guess being the team with the best record in your division doesn’t necessarily mean the best team on the field. i don’t know if, at this point, the Dodgers can be stopped.

the Dodgers will meet the winner of the Phillies/Brewers series. ’m rooting for the Phillies…Jamie Moyer is pitching for them this season. it would be cool if he went to the world series.

final score

Notre Dame 28 Stanford 21

347 yards and 3 touchdowns for Jimmy Clausen. nice work boys!! today is a happy Saturday!!

now, maybe the Cubbies will pull one out too...

at the half...

Notre Dame 21 Stanford 7

shelley<>

woah

OJ Simpson found guilty of kidnapping and 11 other charges.

the guilty verdict came 13 years to the day of his aquittal of murder.

woah.

karma's a bitch, eh, OJ?

shelley<>

can it be...

that i awaken this morning to another Cubs loss? WTF???

this came from Lisa and her cubs pals...a prediction for the rest of the series:

Looking into my crystal ball, here's the headlines I see coming:

Sunday, October 5
Chicago Cubs pitcher Rich Harden pitched a gem in last night's 4 - 0 Cubs win, allowing the Northsiders to stave on being swept for the second consecutive year in the first round of the NL playoffs. Harden pitched seven strong innings, striking out nine while not walking a batter. Giovanni Soto's 3-run homer in the 3rd inning proved to be the game winner as the Cubs forced a Game 4 Sunday in Los Angeles.

Monday, October 6
Could this be the year? The Chicago Cubs dominated Los Angeles yesterday, routing the Dodgers 9 - 1 behind another solid pitching performance from Ted Lilly. Lilly, who finished the regular season with three solid outings, followed up yesterday by pitching 8 innings of shut-out baseball, while allowing only 3 hits and striking out nine. The offense finally came to life and showed why they were the top run producing team in the National League this year. Soriano, Ramirez, DeRosa, and Edmonds all homered as the Cubs pounded out 14 hits to force a deciding Game 5 Tuesday night in Chicago.

Wednesday, October 8
CUBS WIN!!! CUBS WIN!!!

NOTE: Game 1 of the National League Championship Series begins on Thursday, October 9th between the Philadelphia Phillies and the Chicago Cubs.

Didn't know I was psychic did you?

LOVE IT!!!

friggin Dodgers

Only the THIRD grand-slam in a playoff game hit by a Dodger in the HISTORY of the Dodgers and Loney has to hit it last night...

somewhere in the universe, Uncle Rich is laughing :)

rainbows!

both on the way to work this morning and on the way home this evening...

rainbows.

do you know how rare that is? do i know who sent them to let me know he is okay, free and happy beyond belief?

yes i do.

shelley<>

wow

a beautiful night. so many people stopping by the funeral home to lend their support to our family. my cousins, yes, but those who had worked with my uncle and those who knew him only thru us.

Lisa and her family and Cindy and her husband came to pay their respects. dad asked them to stay for the rosary and they did.

the whole time together was soul-filling yet sad.
shelley<>

at work

on a Monday...can't focus, can't think, can barely breathe.

in this morning's meeting, the one running the meeting said we should have two bags we carry during the day. 1 for the personal stuff and 1 for the work stuff. when we get to the door at work we should drop the personal bag and pick up the work bag. when we leave work for the day we should let go of the work bag and then pick up the personal bag.

really really fucking hard to do today. lotsa stuff swirling. seemingly no compassion from those higher up. i really just wanna curl up into a ball and sleep these feelings away...wake up with the sun-shining thru the windows and all this grief worked thru.

here's to the contrast!

take two

Friday was a rough day. when the alarm went off, i climbed into the shower and had every intention of working the entire day. i quickly realized my emotions had other ideas. i attempted to put on eyeliner. it wouldn't stay on. i couldn't stop crying and the simple tears turned into sobs. i was a mess when i called Lori to tell her. i am certain she was shocked at the strength of the emotions that were flowing from me. i just couldn't stop them. when Grandma died, i had no choice but to work. the morning show had quit the day before. i had to do the morning show the day of the funeral and then go back to work the following day. i put away the feelings til i had time to work thru the grief. of course, that time never came. the grief came out at the most inconvenient times. this time, i wasn't going to put it away for later. i made that choice.

Dad and Uncle Don came together early in the day to put together "the arrangements." they had to go to the city's police department to pick up Uncle Rich's personal effects...his wallet, checkbook, keys. after his newspapers had built up from Tuesday, his neighbors went looking for him. the front door was unlocked (it was always unlocked when he was home...even at night...the security of small-town life) and they found him in bed. they didn't know what to do, so they called the city police. they came in and got him, took him to the hospital where he was pronounced. the police had really wonderful things to say about Uncle Rich. they were all familiar with him...not something you would normally think would be a GOOD thing...he was part of the community. he walked every day the weather was good...and walked for miles. they would honk and wave if they saw him first, he would wave first if the reverse was true. when he first moved to the community, he would have the occasional seizure while walking, the police would find him and take him to the hospital. eventually, all the officers learned his seizure patterns and would just take him home and stay with him til they knew he was alert and back in the world. i think he helped each one of them become better officers, and maybe even better people.

the phone rang the entire day, Dad repeatedly telling the story and i think becoming numb to it to be able to get thru the day. he and Uncle Don went to the house Friday to make sure everything was fine. the police had removed the sheets and the mattress, as Uncle Rich's body had let go of its fluids, and had opened the windows to get the air circulating. i can't imagine that courtesy happening in a big city, you know? Dad brought home the valueables, he and Uncle Don talked about what needed to be done, hugs given, tears and stories pouring out from all of us.

the only thing i knew i could do was cook. to help fill our stomachs while feeling an emptiness somewhere that wasn't going to be filled. i made breakfast Friday...scrambled eggs and toast...and dinner later. Potato-encrusted chicken breasts with mushroom risotto (thank you Boris!) and steamed asparagus. Friday night, one of Dad's buddies brought over Italian sausage and peppers for us, and our neighbors brought chicken cachiatore for us to eat later. the bringing of food during a crisis is a societal tradition i hadn't seen before. when you really think about it, those traditions show the respect and the caring others have for you and your family...

yesterday we went to the house and started going thru his things. mom and i took the bedroom and went thru his clothes and the dressers. there are bags upon bags of clothes to go to St. Vincent de Paul Society. they are sitting on the bed frame. the family will come thru the house and see if there is anything they want. what remains will be donated to St. Vincent de Paul so someone else will be able to use it. there are bedroom sets, a couch he never used, lamps and many plastic dishes and glasses. because he was alive, many families will live better lives. that seems to be the thought i return to.

Aunt Kathryn will be here today along with two of her daughters. Rose is coming in from Colorado, Debbie from Tennesee. Mary Ann may be here for the funeral Tuesday. almost all of Uncle Don's kids will be here. Carol had an idea that a few of us who are willing should eulogize him. she suggested i do it along with herself and the oldest of her sisters. a great idea. Debbie is the oldest of her family and she remembers Uncle Rich before his epilepsy. i am the niece who has spent the most time with him in recent years. i have a few stories of him that will make us laugh and appreciate his life.

because he was alive, because he was who he was, every single person who met him, knew him, loved him is a better person for knowing Uncle Rich.

uncle rich

is my dad's kid brother.

he died today. unexpectedly and without any of us near him. he died at home, in bed, and (i hope) in his sleep. the last child to join the family and the first one to leave it.

i don't know what to do with myself. i know his spirit is with God and he is rejoicing to be there...free of his body whose electrical system didn't work quite right.

it does now. :)

i love you Uncle Rich

fridays

waitin for the open house to be over ... hangin out with Lisa for a drink (martini!) and lunch (maybe a salad if i decide to be a good girl). the boy behind the bar resembles Brendan...tall, short hair, knows nothing about NASCAR. he is a Giants fan and is freaking out that the Bengals are ahead in the game. poor thing...
shelley<>

another open house tomorrow

the house has been on the market for the summer...again. this is the third summer it's been for sale.

tomorrow, from 2-4pm, prospective buyers will once again take a gander at what 229 thousand will get ya in our town.

i'll have the house spic and span, smelling of chocolate chip cookies, after the smudge tonight and an hour of Master Lin's heart chakra sutra chant before anyone gets here to transform the energy in the house to one of welcome.

let's get this house sold!!

loss number one

is in the books.

23 - 7 . the Spartans deserved it, as they were spot on. i was disappointed we didn't start throwing the ball til close to the second quarter, especially when that is what has been working for us so far.

the guys on abc/espn are at least giving us props for being better this year...thank goodness. how could we be worse than the 3 -9 season last year?

Boris' Cornhuskers are off this week. they play Virginia Tech next week and then Missouri, who are playing out-of-their-minds this season, the following week.

dinner tonight

the picture sucks so don't know how yummy this looks but Chicken Marsala and smashed potatoes for dinner tonight surely tastes good!

man i LOVE the weekends when i have the house to myself...

good news

Cubs clinch the division title! we're goin to da playoffs with Jeff Samardzjia on the roster!!

better

ND gets a touchdown but more points for the Spartans too. 3 turnovers and 2 missed field goals. the score could be closer.

that Ringer kid on Michigan State is a maniac...he's like the Energizer Bunny. even as a Notre Dame fan, he is fun to watch. this week's pre-game interviews, he wasn't trash talking our team, he was giving us respect when the rest of the college football world seems to be piling on, even with two wins under our belt.

16-7 4th quarter with MSU in the red zone...

ugh

it doesn't look good.
4th quarter, down 13-0. Jimmy got sacked for the first time this season and the guys have turned over the ball a few times.

poo.

uh oh

Michigan State has scored first, albeit a field goal.

Spartans up 3 - 0.

let's go Irish!

the alchemist

Lisa and i stumbled upon Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho's first book "The Alchemist" about a year ago. he basically writes parables...fables for adults. each book has a central theme, most of them involving a bit of spirituality. the theme of "The Alchemist" is to follow your dreams. as i read the book i took notes and thought i'd share them here:

• people are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them. or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. their hearts become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good be weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly.


• the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.


• when i have been truly searching for my treasure, every day has been luminous, because i’ve known that every hour was a part of the dream that i would find it. when i have been truly searching for my treasure, i’ve discovered things along the way that i never would have seen had i not had the courage to try things that seemed impossible for a shepherd to achieve.


• all people who are happy have God within them. happiness could be found in a grain of sand from the desert. a grain of sand is a moment of creation, and the universe has taken millions of years to create it. people’s hearts seldom say much about those treasures because people no longer want to go in search of them. we speak of them only to children. later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate. very few follow the path laid out for them….the path to their Personal Legends, and to happiness. most people see the world as a threatening place, and because they do, the world turns out to be a threatening place.


• what you still need to know is this:
  before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. it does this not because it is evil but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. that’s the point at which most people give up. it’s the point at which, as we say in the desert, one “dies of thirst just when the palm trees appeared on the horizon.” every search begins with beginner’s luck. and every search ends with the victor’s being severely tested.


• when you possess great treasures within you, and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed.
  


• and my favorite bit of the book: don’t give in to your fears. if you do, you won’t be able to listen to your heart.

i fly thru his books. easy to read and impactful. when i needed to delve into forgiveness, i read his "By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept," and have read a few more of his fables. i suggest beginning with "The Alchemist" or find him in the fiction section and let your intuition guide you!

pancakes

i had pancakes for dinner...a stack of 3 gluten-free pancakes with real maple syrup. and tucked inside? two gorgeous fried eggs to make the pancakes creamier.

oh...and a big glass of milk.

yum.

by the way, i have the house to myself til WEDNESDAY!!!

fringe part 2

more Fringe last night.

again, really freaky stuff. pituitary glands, a baby being born a few hours after conception (talk about rapid growth!), cameras that take a picture of the last image your eyes have seen...wow.

i love the X Files feel of the show...the feeling of outside forces moving chess pieces into place...and the revelation of those pieces and those moves.

theory number one:

-the doc isn't completely insane. he has somehow been directing this all from the inside.

theory number two:

-"the pattern" is happening so they will get the doc outta the loony bin and start him working on his projects again.

the doc is an integral part of the plot, and not just because he was a mad scientist and can fix and/or figure out ANYTHING put in front of him.

new interesting twist? the phrase "Peter's medical history" sent shivers...

episode number three next Tuesday at 9pm. I CAN'T WAIT!!