hah!

so what is the Universe telling me today? "There is no choice you've ever made, shelley, nor any you will ever make, that will limit you as much as you fear. "

there are NOOOO coincidences!!

i don't even know

where to start.

i haven't taken the time to really spend time here, to write about me and my life and what i want, what i am manifesting.

i don't know why. it may be because i'm living with an undercurrent of fear about the future. fear is a waste of time, but i can't seem to shake it. i am going to think about this fear...where it comes from and how i can rid myself of it, once and for all.

i am free. free to move where i want and to work in an industry that i love. so, why am i still in the checkout lanes at the bullseye and living in the house and the city in which i am currently residing??!?!?

so long uncertainty!!

the right move

One little known secret to making precisely the right move, at precisely the right time in your life, shelley, is knowing that in all cases, there is more than one right move and more than one right time. Lots and lots more.

In other words, no matter what you do next, or when, so long as you do something, I'll meet you there, smooth the edges, polish the grill, and connect the dots.

Tallyho,
The Universe

a note from the Universe

Daily, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second you are admired by eyes in the unseen, shelley. You are completely understood. Your actions and inactions are honored. Your thoughts and deeds are saluted. Even your fears and challenges are seen as they truly are: not as weaknesses, but opportunities you once crafted for gifts you can now hardly imagine.

And, I must say, having a connection with a soul as adventurous as yours gives us all ample reason to party like "the roof was on fire."

Thanks, from this side of the curtains -
The Universe

another wow

from the Universe...

The number one reason most people don't start what they want to start, is because they think their simple, little efforts won't even dent the mountain they wish to move. But little do they know, shelley, that's exactly how the mountain was formed.
I was there -
The Universe

a wakeup call? i think i hear something ringing...

the day after

my 45th birthday!

i worked at the store yesterday, and encountered something curious. as i am working in the checkout lanes, there are occasional guests who, when writing a check, ask me for today's date. the number is usually a handful...up to only about 5. today, the number was that...fivefold. it got so silly...me answering "today's the 12th"...that i just had to giggle. i guess the universe wanted me to verbally acknowledge it was my birthday, because the last guest to ask, said..."are you sure...i thought it was the 11th." i replied "no, it's the 12th. it's my birthday!" she got all excited and wished me a happy birthday...and then...

the asking ended.

wild, huh? :)

i found this in my email box from the Universe!! :

A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like shelley o'bryant doesn’t come along all that often. In fact, there’s never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You’re an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is.

Quite simply:

You’re the kind of person, shelley,
Who’s hard to forget,
A one-in-a-million
To the people you’ve met.
Your friends are as varied
As the places you go,
And they all want to tell you
In case you don’t know:
That you make a big difference
In the lives that you touch,
By taking so little
And giving so much!

shelley, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends and angels from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn’t know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of Birthdays and an exciting new year in time and space. You won’t be alone!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, shelley!

gotta love the Universe! no one else will see things with my eyes! i am not alone! it makes me very happy...thank you Universe! i am grateful!!

i also have a very special voicemail on my cellphone. it's my gorgeous nephew Mike...saying Happy Birthday Aunt Shelley...i love you!! bye!! :) he's sooo precious. i miss him desperately...along with his brother and sisters...and his mom...and oh yeah, his goofball dad.

film festival Thursday

Mom and Dad took off for Baldwin and the motorhome this morning, so this afternoon i took a trip to the video store to find something good to watch on my day off.

i grabbed "factory girl" with Sienna Miller as Andy Warhol's protege, Edie Sedgwick. interesting film. well done. good characterizations. i didn't know much about Edie before the movie other than she was part of the whole "factory" crowd. Guy Pearce made for a creepy Andy Warhol, and wow...was Hayden Christiansen fun to watch as the "Musician" they couldn't tell you was Bob Dylan cuz Bob didn't want anything to do with the movie.

truth be told, i rented this movie cuz i heard the sex scene betweeen Hayden and Sienna was real...so i wanted to see it for myself. it WAS really hot and sexy. it was really freaky tho, cuz Hayden looks like Brendan, and that was really weird to watch.

it was a sad movie. she was a sad person.

then, i popped in "The Last King of Scotland." Forrest Whitaker was magnificent. when Idi Amin's insanity comes bubbling to the surface, he is bloodthirsty and so incredibly frightening i could barely breathe. James McAvoy plays Nicholas Garrigan, a doctor who goes to Uganda, searching for a different life than his father's. the good doc gets that...and more. the scene in which he realizes he can't get out of the situation he finds himself in? wow. sinister, really. Gillian's in the movie, too, at the beginning, as the wife of a doctor, living out in the jungle. she looks beautiful with blond hair. Forrest deserved every ounce of that Oscar...

next up..."The Queen." i'll watch it tomorrow before i take all of them back, and get a few more movies that i want to catch up on...

one other thing...while i was at Family Video cruising the shelves for something to watch, i spied "The Long Weekend" out on dvd in the States. Chris still has my region 2 copy. now that i know it's available to watch on a "regular" dvd player, am i going to buy it? do i want it anymore? will it just be torture to watch him kiss someone, knowing he was thinking of me? maybe so, maybe so...

affirmation!

Louise Hay passes along yet another bit of something to think about each and every day...

begin looking at everything in your life in a new way. “do I really love it? do I really need it? would I be better off without it?” instead of buying and spending, save that money. let your money work for you for a change. this is the beginning of laying new groundwork for your life. you must make room for the good that’s just waiting for you. begin now. fill your mind with new positive thinking.

affirm today: the past is over and done. i release it with love, blessing every person, place and experience. i welcome the new!

morning meditation...our emotions

Each human is a complex system of chemicals, hormones, vibrations/frequencies as well as beliefs, programs, emotional addiction and emotional habits. The desire to attain a balance and discover the master control so to speak of the emotional nature is an important aspect of each human being.

Your emotions are like the sea. They ebb and flow. The sea is affected by the winds, the pull of the moon, the season. It is important for each human to realize that they can either be in the sea of emotions or riding the sea of emotions.

Awareness is the boat you build which allows you to ride the emotional waves moment to moment. It is important to realize that you are the boat and not the sea.

Remember that incomplete, unresolved, suppressed experiences that are triggered by a song, a smell, a memory will dump you into the emotional sea every time. Get back in the boat. Remember you are not these emotions. You might feel them, yet these emotions are offering you a clear sign that you are not in your center. In your center, in the boat of awareness you are the master control and navigator.

Each and everything that you personally do that reflects a vibration of joy, gratitude and appreciation enhances the matrix as a whole. These vibrations keep you in the boat above the emotional sea of turmoil and this allows you to honor your magnificence.

a reminder to...

Resting Your Body

As you develop your intuitive abilities, it’s perfectly okay to take a break from your development for few days or however long you need — don’t push it. Imagine how your radio sounds when the battery is low and the reception weakens. So it is with your physical body. You are here in the physical world, so stay balanced and grounded with your physical life as well as your spiritual life. Rest, relax, nurture yourself, take an aromatherapy bath, or go to bed earlier. You deserve it.

Blessings - John Holland

My body is my ultimate teacher. I honor and respect it.

pretty wild stuff

thought i'd check out this free numerology report about my "hidden" passions, you know, just for a giggle or two...and this is what i found...

Your Hidden Passion Number is 5

You love travel, change, and new challenges. You are highly adaptable and versatile. You have a talent for languages, and are generally good with words. Writing, promotion, and public relations work suit you perfectly.

You are sensual and a bit impulsive. You love to satisfy your senses, which can get you into trouble. Overindulgence in food, drink, sex, and drugs are common among people with too many 5s -- six or more.

You are resourceful and original. You have a good sense of humor and a quick tongue.

Your desire for freedom is extremely strong and it will take effort and discipline to stick with whatever it is you started. There is a tendency to give up a project or situation prematurely.
You may be interested in too many things, which can make it hard for you to apply yourself to one area successfully.

You are very unconventional.

Commitment in relationships and your work is fundamental to your happiness. You may have a tendency to wander from person to person, job to job, making depth of relationship or deep expertise difficult.

i am cracking the hell up. can you say "right on the nose?"

another great thought

don't be complacent.

start making your dreams come true by giving them voice now.

isn't that what i just wrote about? love that synchronicity!!!

dear abby of all places...

i am soooo happy this morning to find there is a connection at the house!! maybe the people from whom i "sip" this connection have returned from vacation? maybe the atmospheric conditions are again right to be able to do some "sipping?" i don't know. whatever the case, i am very pleased to be able to access the internet...yet another thing to be grateful for this morning!!!

i have been finding great stuff in the most unlikely of places as of late. case in point? in this morning’s Dear Abby ( i KNOW!!) there was a letter that i had to share…

Dear Abby-What are some ways that people can improve a negative self-image, improve their self-confidence and be more positive in their interactions with other people? AJ in Salt Lake City

Dear AJ: I’m glad you asked. Allow me to offer a few suggestions…
1-Stop and consider what caused your negative self image. Then begin taking positive steps to improve your body, soul and intellect.
2-If you feel yourself reverting to a poor self-image, remind yourself of what you are doing and why.
3-Reach out and do something for someone who is less fortunate than you are. It’s a guaranteed upper.
4-Avoid people who make themselves feel better by making others feel less so.
5-Count your blessings every single day, and make up your mind to be happy. People are usually as happy as they are determined to be.

talk about great stuff!! i am so happy to be able to start out my day with these thoughts in my head!!!! posting them, and passing them along seemed the best thing to do, no matter if anyone reads them or not…

more

posting a few things today, as i FINALLY got a connection online, altho it took a drive to Mishawaka to get one. the one that existed in our neighborhood is either 1) shut down cuz the owners are on vacation (which is the one i'm hoping is true) or 2) shut down cuz the owners moved. either aren't a happy proposition for me right now, as i'll have to really slow down the online connection by using dad's phone, or doing all my online stuff in public. the public thing isn't all bad, but, as i tend to get emotionally when writing, it could get a touch uncomfortable.

Dru was here for a week from Wed July 11th thru Wed July 18th. she spent the first and second nights with us. she and i spend Thursday together shopping and going to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (not a great movie...more of a placeholder til the next one comes out, if you ask me). i got to hang out with her a bit more the next day, too, as i took her to the mall to shop with a few of her girlfriends. the other girls were only there for about an hour and a half, so she and i spent more time wandering thru the stores. we did a lot of talking, and i got to know my niece better.

she really impressed me. she's got that whole teenager-ie thing going on, but she also has a grownupness that is startling. she seems very self-assured. it gives her the appearance of being older than she is, and the effect is a bit unsettling for this aunt of hers. she's almost 15, and it was almost as if we are equals. i like it, but it takes a bit of getting used to. she's an adult for crying out loud! how did THAT happen?!?!?!?

she let go

she let go. without a thought or a word, she let go. she let go of the fear. she let go of the judgments. she let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. she let go of the committee of indecision within her. she let go of all the “right” reasons. wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

she didn’t ask anyone for advice. she didn’t read a book on how to let go. she didn’t search the scriptures. she just let go. she let of all of the memories that held her back. she let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. she let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

she didn’t promise to let go. she didn’t journal about it. she didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. she made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. she didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. she just let go. she didn’t analyze whether she should let go. she didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. she didn’t utter one word. she just let go.no one was around when it happened. there was no applause or congratulations. no one thanked her or praised her. no one noticed a thing.

like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. there was no effort. there was no struggle. it wasn’t good. it wasn’t bad. it was what it was, and it is just that.

in the space of letting go, she let it all be. a small smile came over her face. a light breeze blew through her. and the sun and the moon shone forevermore.


wow. can it BE that simple?

attachment...

great stuff from Lisa today:


When your dreams or "end results" are stated generally, in broad brush strokes, like wealth and abundance, friends and laughter, health and harmony, then please, by all means, attach yourself to them. Attach, attach, attach. There is no limit to what you can have and no reason to expect anything less.

But when your end results are specific, like the ultimate car, a hot date, or a home in the country, do not attach, do not attach, do not attach.

Material details and specifics are always "how" to get to a grander picture of your life and are never important in and of themselves. They're "cursed hows" disguised as end results. Steps disguised as destinations. By all means, think of them, put them in your scrapbook or on your vision board to remind yourself of the kind of possessions and adventures that are your birthright, but do not give them an importance, through attachment, greater than what you are truly after: a fuller, richer life with all cups running over, the details of which will take care of themselves, when this is your end result.

so, if i'm getting what i should be getting from this, i should only ask my angels for general stuff. i should only ask them for the the next great job opportunity...preferrably in radio...but i am open to whatever they bring me!! that's what i have been asking (almost) every day for the past week. my traffic angels are always at work for me, and i (sometimes) remember to ask Michael and Ganesh for help, too. i ask them to help me, if it is what God wants for me. i feel that's important, too. to not just ask for something because i want it, but to ask for something and ask that MY wants are in line with God's wants for me. seems like a good idea...

the NEW Seven Wonders of the World

i don't know why we needed to name a "new" seven wonders. couldn't we have just added another seven and call them the "Next Seven Wonders of the World?" or the Seven Wonders of the "Modern" world?

anyway, they are as follows...

1-the Coliseum in Rome

2-the Great Wall of China

3-Machu Picchu in the Andes Mountains in South America

4-the white palace in India, the Taj Mahal

5-Petra, Jordan...the place where Indiana Jones and his dad found the Holy Grail :)

6-Chichén Itzá, Mexico...the Mayan Pyramids

7-Christ the Redeemer, the HUGE statue of Jesus on the mountaintop in Rio De Janerio, Brazil...where Horatio Caine did some kneeling, albeit in the OPPOSITE direction of the statue, in the opening sequence of the season premiere of CSI Miami :)

i have plans to see at least a few of these in my lifetime. Lisa and i are going to Machu Picchu, Chris and i will see Rome. i'd really like to see the Mayan (and the Egyptian) Pyramids, and Petra, too! these places have an awe-inspiring bit of wonder surrounding them. i would vote the Effiel Tower, Stonehenge, and the statues on Easter Island into the NEXT seven...

giggles

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - WH Auden

isn't that the truth???!? don't most of the people you LOVE to be around make you laugh...really really deep down LAUGH?!?! and that helps you love them deep deep down

i don't know who this person, WH Auden, is, but i wholeheartedly agree!!

i am grateful for laughter!!!

my horoscope

for today:

Although it's difficult to put your hurt feelings into words, you will likely feel better about yourself today. Others may not realize the depth of your emotional wound, but that's because you keep your vulnerabilities hidden by expressing your competence, rather than complaining about what ails you. Remember that talking about your current blockages with someone you trust can help.

working on clearing that hurt and the root cause of why these things hurt me today, so this one just blew me away...

cool as hell

i spent time in the dark today with the "Transformers." it was, as alluded to above, cool as hell. i got a good laugh when "in association with Hasbro" flashed in the opening credits. good story, good cgi, great voices, good performances by the actors, too. another laugh at the masturbation subject matter. a bunch of recognizable actors whom i didn't know were in it, as i hadn't really been awaiting this movie with baited breath. i mean, i didn't really watch the cartoon show in the 80's, but was completely aware of it...what with the theme song and the toys all the rage at the time.

Jon Voight! John Turturro! the guy from "Hot Shots!" that you've seen a million times in a million different tv shows and movies! the woman who played "Nadine" on "Grace Under Fire!" Shia LeBouef!

and then, there's the reason i went to see the movie...Josh Duhamel. the hottest guy in "Las Vegas"...and in many many other places. he was on Regis and Kelly the other day...he had been on "All My Children" at the same time as Kelly, and they had a really fun rapport. he's really cute and funny and i melted.

and when he came onscreen, all dirty and sweaty...whew!! what could be better?!?!?

the autobots rocked soooooo friggin' hard. Optimus Prime?? Bumblebee??? Jazz?? the other two??? awesome!!!! i was curious to check, when i got home, if they used the original voice actors from the cartoon in the movie...IMDb says yes, they did, at least for Optimus Prime. total class. and, as i heard the voice of Optimus Prime, i must admit, he sounded familiar :)

and, how many yellow Camaros is Chevy gonna sell cuz of this movie???!?! i know, i want one now...really friggin gorgeous car...even if it doesn't transform in real life :)

another thing i LOVED about this movie was how strong and rockin' the chicks were!! the blond chick was the one who figured out the intial mystery...and the chick Shia is all about, knows stuff about cars and is the one who rescues one of the Autobots. cool as hell...

this, Alanis, is ironic..

i just blew up two years and five months of work, of writing about my life and trying to make sense of the things that are showing up in it and how i am working thru them.

i blew it up because Brendan has drawn his own conclusions about what i have written and has attacked me in his own, lovely way, in only the way the Brendan could have attacked me. he definitely knows how to hurt me, and has done that.

i refuse to allow him to use my words against me again, so i blew up "my authentic voice." do you find that as ironic as i do?

i am looking for the gratitude in this situation and have found it...in knowing what i had written on the other site had done what it was intended to for me in allowing me an outlet.

there is gratitude in knowing that David and Gillian both wanted to make sure i was okay, and that David is still in my corner. that, for some reason, makes me happy.

there is gratitude in releasing the place i used to wallow in my sadness over Brendan. there is gratitude in releasing the place i used to work thru my unemployment.

i believe leaving that place with the two remaining posts will make a very loud statement.

get out of your way!

from Lifehack.com:

Setting, and reaching your goals is a key to happiness in life, yet there is one culprit that often stands in the way of progress: yourself.

You, in fact, may be the only thing blocking yourself from achieving the fulfilling, satisfying life you deserve.You've heard the saying before: "We're all our own worst critics." It's this negative energy that can often bring you down and away from well-being. This compelling LifeHack article has got some simple, practical ways for you to finally reach your dreams ... by getting out of your own way:

1. Make time for what's most important to you.
2. Focus on your strengths, and they will grow.
3. Don't worry about how you feel (in fact, don't even pay attention to how you feel).
4. Realize that things tend to improve in gradual increments, not sudden breakthroughs.
5. Don't wait until you feel happy to get things done. Getting things done will make you feel good.
6. Rather than worrying about what needs to be done, spend your time doing things that need to be done.
7. Be open to changing your ideas.
8. Instead of getting stressed if things don't go your way, accept what happened and move forward.

#1 has been hard for me in the past. i am working on making time for what's most important to me...which helps make me happy! #4 is rough too, cuz i'm the person Roald Dahl used to model Veruca Salt on ("i want it NOW daddy!) :p #8 is something i find difficult to do. i am working on letting go of things that happen/have happened and am slowing my tendency to analyze and over-analyze those things.

to paraphrase the poet laureate Meatloaf: five outta eight ain't bad!!!

wow...coincidence? naaaah...

i found this in my email this morning...courtesy of Gary Smalley...

Have you ever heard this phrase? You become what you think. Everything about you is the result of what you've been thinking. Daydreaming is thinking, planning is thinking, imagining is thinking, reacting to circumstances is thinking, and wishing things could have been different for you is thinking. Think about this verse: "For as he thinks within himself, so he is" (Proverbs 23:7).

After days, months, and years of thinking certain thoughts like, Oh this is bad that my father says horrible things to me, I wish I'd never been born, I must be a very bad person, you can soon develop a deep belief about yourself or any situations that you continue to think about negatively. When deep negative or even self-centered beliefs develop within you, how do you break them?

First, understand that you're in control of what you think about. Your thoughts determine your future emotions, words, and actions. Your thoughts can be changed as you begin to see yourself as God sees you. Second, you do this by hearing, listening, reading, studying, memorizing, and thinking about God's Word every day! You will begin to see how much he loves you and wants you to build a close relationship with him.

What thoughts are you focusing on every day?

Will you choose to see yourself as God sees you?

and then...i also received a letter from D. he and i have been corresponding for at least six weeks, discussing the comment SB left on my other blog. discussing SB's perceptions of me. his mistrust.

i have struggled with my thoughts about myself ever since that day in June of 2005. i have really worked on turning my thoughts around...after a dreary three-month period from January 2006-March 2006 i realized what i thought about myself was what i perpetuated. while feeling alone and abandoned, i was perpetuating the aloneness. the negative just brought more negative, and i wanted good things! so...i started thinking good things.

synchronistic that this email came the day i started thinking bad things again.

i am filled with gratitude!! thank you...

updated be do have...

my updated list of 100 things to be do have...


1. Bruno, my boy Yorkie dog!
my sweet sweet little puppy dog!!! along with some dog treats, toys, and crate for potty training and sleeping
2. dyson d14 animal vac
a cool new vacuum to keep the dust from making me sneeze, and to pick up the hair from the dog...if there is hair from the dog!
3. citrine gemstone necklace
helps me release what is no longer serving me physically, mentally and emotionally
4. blue phoenix necklace
helps me let go of my old concept of myself and allow in a new expanded sense of self
5. radiant heart necklace
this necklace is paramount in reinforcing all the good feelings i have about myself and about life!
6. mother of pearl necklace
wearing this necklace is like giving myself a big warm hug...i love myself!
7. malachite necklace
this necklace helps bring my bodies energies into harmony!
8. lt. green aventurine necklace
this necklace helps cleanse my body of toxins from all the drug use!
9. riverstone gemstone necklace
wearing this riverstone necklace when i'm meditating helps me focus on my meditation and block out distractions
10. agate gemstone necklace
this agate gemstone necklace helps get me grounded in the new place i'm living...and helps keep me grounded after air travel!!
11. poppy jasper gemstone necklace
this poppy jasper necklace helps remove blockages!!
12. angelfire gemstone necklace
this necklace helps me lock my thoughts into positive manifestations!
13. Fiestaware!!
i've gone on a Fiestaware shopping spree!!! i've added new colors and new items to my collection and am using them whenever i eat healthy food in my house each and every day!!
14. Le Creuset cookware
9 piece cookware set in sonoma blue, lemongrass and flame colors! gorgeous colors excite the senses in my kitchen!!
15. All-Clad Cookware
stainless steel 15 piece cookware set with extra saucepans, a grill pan, wok pan, and whatever else catches my fancy allows me to cook safely and healthy each time i prepare a meal!
16. Cuisinart Food Processor
a cool new food processor is such a BIG help in the kitchen! i'm cooking fresh, healthy food and nourishing my body with every bite!
17. Kitchen Aid Artisan Mixer
the graphite mixer is something i've wanted for a very long time!! i am soooo excited to have it and use it to make lots and lots of yummies for other people and for ME, too!!
18. bedroom furniture and linens
a new bed frame and mattress, new nightstands and table lamps, a chaise lounge and floor lamp, blanket chest/bench, and linens along with pillows are making my bedroom an elegant santuary! a place i LOOOOOVE to spend time and relax in!!
19. Canon EOS Rebel XTI
new camera with new lenses, filters, camera case and sd cards to take more gorgeous pictures! i am grateful for the excellent equipment to record my travels, but also the things that show the beauty of God's touch!!
20. dining room furniture
table and four chairs with hutch for my china and stemware! highback chairs with comfy pads to sit on. substantial table, too. mission style made by swartzendrubers!
21. furniture for the living room!
new couches, club chairs, ottomans, lamps, area rugs, end tables...whatever strikes my decorating fancy! cd/dvd cabinets, too!
22. 2008 Ford Escape Hybrid
it's the new hybrid green color with every cool option i want! i am sooo happy to have a car that not only saves me money but also helps save the environment!! weeeha!!
23. Chrysler Crossfire Coupe Ltd.
it's machine grey crystal pearl...absolutely gorgeous! the spoiler automatically comes out when the car hits 55 mph...how cool is that?!?!?! all the options i want, too!
24. an apartment in Cabo
it's a four-week timeshare that i need to have in Cabo. to be able to spend a month there a year is pure luxury and restorative!! being there with my friends and family whenever we want is so much fun!!
25. trip to Italy...Rome & Florence
airfare and hotel for the trip to see the Vatican, Coliseum in Rome, Michaelangelo's David in Florence! plenty of cash for great food and shopping! taking Chris to see the sights and all the art!
26. trip to Seattle and Vancouver BC
airfare, hotel for a week. plenty of cash for great food and shopping. hanging out with Patti and Jim, Kara and her family!
27. a 3 bedroom house in Sedona AZ
a beautiful, spacious home in the place i want to live. mountains and red rocks out my windows, desert, too. this is where my soul vibrates!!
28. spa time for me and Liz
time spent with Liz where we are relaxing and pampering ourselves!
29. travel for Mom and Dad
round-trip tickets for Mom and Dad whenever they want to come visit!
30. travel to see Judy
trips to see Judy in Denver whenever i want to see her!
31. Cabo Trip
a week in Cabo with Lisa for our 45th birthdays sometime in November 2008...actually it will be our 46th, but who's counting?!?!? :)
32. qi-gong retreat
time off in October to go thru the retreat with Master Chunyi Lin and the money to travel to Minneapolis
33. airline tix for Lisa
round-trip tickets for her to visit every couple of months!
34. airline tix to Portland
round-trip tickets to see Tim and the family whenever i wish!
35. the man of my dreams
what can i say? i want a relationship with a man to help sustain me, to excite me, and to help me grow.
36. AM drive job in Pleasanton
this is the job i want! this is the money i want! this is where i want to be right now! mountains out my window, water nearby!! thank you God for helping me get into the vibration of bringing this to me!
37. apartment in Pleasanton
my own place in the place i want to live and work. two bedrooms or more, a place where i can have my doggie, and a place where its quiet enough for me to be able to fall asleep early enough to do my job to the best of my ability!
38. trip to Ireland
Ireland is a place i want to see with my father while he's still alive.

Agatha CHRISTIE??!?!

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

-Agatha Christie

who knew, while she was crafting her mysteries, she was living a life that would elicit these types of thoughts?

quote and more

"...abundance flows in many more avenues than dollars. And so, if you could focus upon the gifts that the Universe gives you: When you say "abundance", think about it in the abundance of health, the abundance of vitality, the abundance of clarity, the abundance of enthusiasm, the abundance of delicious people in your life, the abundance of loving letters in your life. The abundance of free-flowing traffic in your life. The abundance of wonderful experiences in your life...As you start thinking in terms of this abundance that doesn't have anything to do with dollars -- the abundance relative to the dollars starts flowing too."

- Abraham-Hicks

i am looking at abundance today. abundance of friends and family. abundance of good, honest work. abundance of cool air when it is warm and warm air when it is cold. abundance of a comfortable bed. abundance of money is there when i choose to receive it. abundance of romantic love is there when i choose to receive it!

two synchronistic events to report:

1- Mike Golic came into the store yesterday! he was there with his family, but before they joined him in the checkout lane next to mine, he was there unloading a crapload of groceries. i was waiting on customers when i noticed him and then my customers were finished and i was left alone for a minute or two. without hesitation, i walked over and told him "you know, when you were playing ball, i worked as a front desk clerk at a hotel. your parents came in for every game and i have to tell you, they are just the nicest people! they were always sooo nice to me and i always looked forward to seeing them come thru my door. i always wanted to tell you how great your parents are." he laughed and asked "when i was playing here?" i said yes and he exclaimed "the Budgeteer!!" i said "yeah, baby!" and we laughed. it was very cool. a few months ago, Mike was the emcee at a local charity luncheon. i wanted to go to the luncheon so i could tell him this. i didn't have the extra cash at the time, so i didn't. i had also thought about sending him an e-mail, but just didn't get off my butt to do it. it turns out i didn't have to, did i?
2- John Vance was at the store today with his wife and son as i walked outta the breakroom! John and i have been communicating thru myspace over the past few weeks, and we were planning on hanging out sometime in the next week. and there he was!!

God bringing these guys into my life...cuz i have no attachment to whether i see them or not. i don't want anything from them, and they appear. mind-blowing...

phrase of the day!

"harness the opportunity of chaos"!!!

quote of the day

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. - Augusten Burroughs

i tend to believe this as well as the opposite...that i am EXACTLY the way God made me to be. which one is the truth? is only one of them true?

thunder and lightning...

been hot and sticky. hazy sunshine. sweltering heat from the inside of a closed up car hits like a blast from a steel mill furnace.

drive along any country road and you'll see the infant corn stalks stunted due to the lack of rain. the edges of their little leaves are curled in the hopes of catching a drop of moisture.

there's the possibility of a thunderstorm in the overnight hours...around 3am. i'm hoping for one with a soaking rain. one that boasts a crapload of thunderclaps and lightning bolts.

i love me some thunderstorms!!!

Elyse

learn more about "the Secret" and the Law of Attraction!

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quote of the day

the difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

--Albert Einstein

horoscopic insights

my cosmic profile, courtesy of tarot.com, explains a bit about who i am, both on the surface and deep down:

Your Sun Sign: Leo
Element: Fire
Key Planet: Sun

The Lion is considered the king of the jungle, and likewise you Leos have an air of royalty about you. Some Leos even have hair resembling the thick mane of the Lion. But Lions are more than roar, for they are truly magnificent beasts. The Lioness proudly cares for the young, hunts and takes care of survival with relentless intent and ferocity, when needed. And proud are you Lions! Perhaps that's why you often choose work that puts you in the center of stage or in the spotlight of appreciation.

Motto: "What you see is what you get."
Greatest Strength: Your playful and loving nature
Possible Weakness: Need for approval can become too important

Your Moon Sign: Capricorn

A strong sense of responsibility is likely to make you mature beyond your years. You tend not to give yourself much slack, especially when it comes to emotion. While this is great for being productive, it can make intimacy more of a challenge. Recognizing your inner needs generally requires effort since your obligations to the world often take precedence over your personal desires. Allowing yourself to feel vulnerable without immediately fixing the situation can be healthy because you need to baby yourself from time to time. This tenderness towards yourself is an act of trust and forgiveness that can soften your hard edges and show you that life is about more than getting ahead of staying in control.

Motto: "Trying harder always works."
Greatest Strength: Inner discipline and a strong sense of responsibility
Possible Weakness: Being too tough on yourself

Your Rising Sign: Sagittarius

You're a natural teacher, promoter or salesperson. With Sagittarius Rising you share what you know with high energy and enthusiasm like a preacher or a cheerleader. You tend to blow through the negativity others present by pushing forward your beliefs without showing any doubt. It's this obvious optimism that lifts you and those around you, bringing hope to the darkest of situations. But your natural focus tends to more on the big picture than on little details. Overlooking the small stuff can be a great asset at times because it keeps you from being distracted, but there are circumstances where it's important to bring your focus back from the far end of the horizon to an issue that's right in front of you.

Motto: "If I know something, I'll tell you about it."
Greatest Strength: Inspiring others with positive ideas
Possible Weakness: Coming across as a know-it-all

Your Chinese Sign: Tiger

Mantra: My courage strengthens my path.

The strength of Tigers makes them dynamic and courageous. Outspoken on every subject, they are still tolerant and sensitive to the opinions of others. Kind to their fellows, Tigers can be short-tempered if they don't get their way. The Tiger balances between the passions and demands of the outside world and the comfort and inwardness of home. They tend to be philosophers with great intellect and think most about themselves and their families. Protecting their interests and loved ones to the utmost, they are generous with their love and affection.

interesting stuff. some of it is RIGHT on, some of it is a little iffy. i find it fascinating, tho.

journey triumvirate gave the go ahead

from Mtv news dot com:

If you were surprised by the "Sopranos" series-ending cliffhanger, just imagine how show creator David Chase was feeling just days before the finale aired: He still had not received permission to use Journey's "Don't Stop Believin' " in the show's controversial final scene.

"The request came in a few weeks ago and it wasn't until Thursday that it got approval, because I was concerned," revealed former Journey singer Steve Perry on Tuesday (June 12).

Perry and former bandmates guitarist Neal Schon and Jonathan Cain had to agree on the use of the song in the show, and though Perry said the trio don't agree on much, the "Sopranos" denouement was one of the few times since Perry left the band in 1998 that the guys have shaken hands on something unanimously.

But first, Perry made Chase an offer he couldn't refuse: He insisted on knowing what happens to the Soprano clan before signing off.

"I was not excited about [the possibility of] the Soprano family being whacked to 'Don't Stop Believin'," said Perry, who watched the show with glee Sunday night and again on Monday. "I told them, 'Unless I know what happens — and I will swear to secrecy — I can't in good conscience feel good about its use.'" The show's producers made Perry promise to keep it under his lid, which he did, and then they spilled the beans on how the song was used and how the show ends, after which Perry signed off.

Interestingly, Cain — who wrote the song with Perry and Schon — told The Associated Press that he didn't know how it would be used when they agreed to the licensing. He kept the fact that the song would be used in the show a secret even from his family.

"I didn't want to blow it," he told AP. "Even my wife didn't know. She looked at me and said, 'You knew that and you didn't tell me?' "

"I can hardly put in words how good it makes me feel, to be honest with you," said Perry about the pivotal role the song played, jokingly adding that he's not nearly as "reclusive" as MTV News made him sound in a story that ran on Monday. "There's nothing more in my lifetime that I wanted than to be part of a band that wrote the kind of music we did when we were together. ... When I saw it last night, what I saw was the director pull back into the foundation that was there all along during the most important moment when all this chaos (is going on). The song was, literally, cutting from lyric to lyric, from mother to son to James Gandolfini at the key moment and on the lyric 'streetlight people,' it pulls back with the cameras to reveal a streetlight and I said, 'My God, this director got it. He got the song!' "

When told that Chase revealed to the New Jersey Star-Ledger that "Don't Stop" was the only song he wanted all along for the show capper, Perry said he wasn't surprised. "I felt he must have heard the song enough that he wrote something that fit the lyrics," Perry said. "The whole thing blew my mind."

coolness.

quote of the day

"God intends for us to live in prosperity: to enjoy rewarding relationships and fulfilling careers. God never intended that we drudge through the day and come home to collapse on the sofa, too tired to appreciate those around us. As co-creators, however, we have to make a decision for prosperity. If we don't decide to prosper, we unconsciously choose limitation and scarcity. All the abundance in the world is available to us, once we open ourselves to God."

-- Mary Manin Morrissey

Kevin opines on the Sopranos...

on the subject of the series finale of The Sopranos from the pen of Kevin Smith...director of such magnificence as Clerks, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back...

they provided one really beautiful moment that I feel summed up the entire series quite nicely: Tony visiting Uncle Junior.

"You and my Dad," Tony said. "You two ran North Jersey."
"We did?"
"Yeah."
"Hm." Beat. "That's nice."

I thought that brief exchange really captured the futility of not just This Thing of Ours, but ambition and accomplisment in general: you struggle and toil and put shit together from scratch, and it all seems so epic and important in the moment, and you make sacrifices, and there are casualties along the way... and ultimately, if you're lucky, you wind up in a wheelchair, unable to remember most of what you've done.

shout out to Kev and his reflection on one of the special moments in the final sixty minutes of our look into the life of Tony, Carmela, Meadow and A.J. i enjoyed every second of the show and especially the build-up of something we thought would happen, turning into something utterly and completely nothing. LOVED it. loved the unexpected ending...

shakes...

a few days ago i saw this in my "work" email...

Hi Shelley: hope you are still having fun in radio and enjoying the salesgig!

I have something to run by you, if by chance this is interesting to you:KKIQ Pleasanton (suburban SF metro), AC morning host, great small, family held company, nice consultant.

Let me know if you would want to pursue this, I would be pleased to present you.

Dave

Dave is a radio consultant/former radio Program Director i have been in touch with since the late 80's when he was looking to replace his late nite chick on B96 in Chicago. i sent a package to him containing my aircheck and resume from HOT 96 in Fresno, and Dave and i traded voicemails. we got a chance to talk one day and i found out how much i liked the guy! we met briefly a few years later at the Hitmakers convention in Chicago. we ran into each other a couple of Julys ago in Minneapolis at The Conclave. this time, we pretty much got drunk together...he on beer, me on martinis...in the hotel bar and talked deep down serious radio stuff. i've kept in contact with him...on and off...for the those past few years.

i responded to Dave that yes, i would be very interested in the position and he phoned me to fill me in on the details. i sent him this along with my CHR aircheck (from WNCI and what used to WHYT/Power 96 in Detroit), my rock aircheck (WIRX), and my resume.

Dave-

Attached you’ll find an updated resume and two airchecks…one of my most recent work at WIRX in St. Joseph, Michigan, and my CHR aircheck from WNCI and WHYT. I don’t list WHYT/Detroit on my resume, as I was just a fill-in jock for a few weekends until Rick Gillette (my old PD at FM102) found a more permanent replacement. I have those few breaks on that aircheck to remind myself I worked on-the-air in a major market, which, as a baby d.j., was one of my goals. I believe the stuff I've sent demonstrates I have done and can do what KKIQ is looking for in a morning host.

I am so excited at the idea of working in radio in the Bay Area! I fluctuate between extremes…thinking I should just play it cool...to the other extreme of telling you “Dude…I can DEFINITELY do this job, be GREAT at it, and LOVE living and working in Pleasanton !” I love learning a new city . Getting to not only know my way around, but know the people who live there, is one of my favorite things to do. I haven’t done it in awhile and the itch is definitely there!

I can’t wait for us to get to the next step!

Enjoy your weekend. I’ll talk to you soon!

Regards-
shelley

and THIS is what i found in my email this morning!!!!!

Shelley, I love this WHYT aircheck so that's what I sent to Jim Hampton at KKIQ, along with the resume. I am more excited than ever about your candidacy, and I am going to lobby.

Talk to you next week. Dave.

weeeeeeee-freakin-ha!!! before i received this, i've been fluctuating between being very excited about this opportunity...and telling myself to not get tooo excited cuz i wasn't sure how committed Dave was to working with me. i mean, on that first phone call he was cool and relaxed, and then, in subsequent conversations, he was distant and not very into it...

and THEN i get THIS!! yeeeeeha! or as the four-year-old version of my niece Caitlin would say "weeha!!" this choosing prosperity stuff is really working, isn't it??!?!?!? i'm giggling and both my heart and stomach are feeling that "excited" feeling...something i haven't felt in a really looooong time.

thanks Dave, for bringing the experience of that feeling back again!!

quote of the day

The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy, happiness, or appreciation, you are fully connected to the Stream of pure, positive Source Energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention.

--Abraham-Hicks

the greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness! talk about smacking me upside the head!!! being happy is the best gift you give to yourself AND it brings others happiness. sweet!!!

today i laughed...

today i laughed for five straight minutes. Jon Stewart was soooooooo funny. amazing insight into pop culture, but also just so smart! i was in the breakroom at work and couldn't stop laughing!!

it felt wonderful! freeing! it made me want to giggle the rest of the night!!!

i am grateful today for the laughter...and for Jon Stewart! ok, and comedy central, too... :)

a daily dose of laughter is neccessary for enjoying life!

from my email this morning, courtesy of Gary Smalley, and edited by me:

How do I find happiness?

Smiles and laughter begin in the heart and soul. People can be overwhelmed with trouble, but according to Solomon, a truly cheerful face comes from a merry heart. One thing that allows a heart to be merry is contentment. Consider times when you have felt content and at peace with yourself and the world. Now think of your discontent times. How easy was it to be merry when you were longing for a better job, for your spouse to change, for more money or a better home or for more disciplined children? A major part of life should be filled with laughter. Enjoy those who are closest to you. Enjoy their strengths and weaknesses.

What's weighing you down that you aren't free to laugh and enjoy life? What's keeping you from contentment and peace in your heart?

i'm resonating at the reminder of life should be filled with laughter! laughter should be a daily occurrance! how do i make certain of that? i tend to laugh only when surprised...when i think something's funny, i mostly DON'T laugh, but say "ahh...that's funny!" let go of the judgement, shelley, and just laugh! allow yourself to laugh!

i also "get" to enjoy those who are closest to you. enjoy their strengths is an easy thing to do. i find enjoying their weaknesses a touch difficult. i find myself judging rather than enjoying. it's something to think about! something to be aware of and to change my outlook about. change my thoughts from the negative, and noticing the negative, to seeing the questions i need to ask myself when confronted with something that "seems" negative.

beginning number two

another beginning.

this time of my "100 things to be, do, have"

1-AM
drive
job

in

Pleasanton
2-apartment of my dreams in Pleasanton
3-the man of my dreams for a lasting love relationship
4-trip to Ireland for me and dad (Mom, too, if she wants to go)
5-round-trip tickets to Portland whenever i wish to see Tim and his family
6-round-trip tickets for Lisa whenever she wants to visit
7-round-trip tickets for Mom and Dad whenever they want to visit
8-Chris visiting whenever she wants, however she can travel
9-spa time with Lisa
10-spa time with Liz
11-spa time with Chris
12-spa time with Judy
13-tickets for Judy to visit or me to visit her
14-qi gong retreat in October
15-Cabo for me and Lisa for year number 45

that's where i am with my list on choosingprosperity.com right now. i am going to amend the list i wrote about a year ago about "what i want for me right now," and post that as well. it was very detailed. i want to list those wants in a very specific manner and release them to God and the Universe!

the beginning

Goethe said:

Until one is committed, there is heistancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. all sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. a whole stream of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man (or woman) could have dreamed would come his (or her) way. whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. begin it now!

this is the beginning of the next phase of my life. i am writing and posting about the things that i am creating...about what Providence (or who i call "God") is doing to help me...about how i am bringing what i want into my life!

and so it begins!

in actual truth, this trip began on June 1st, 2007. taking part in the Choosing Prosperity experiment is what i needed to kick myself into gear. to give myself the proof i can create my life beyond my wildest dreams. i'm playing the prosperity game whenever i log online, spending the checks the universe writes me on whatever i want...and KNOW that there will always be more coming in, more to spend. it's an amazing tool that teaches you that valueable lesson...there is always more!!

thank you God, for pointing me in this direction!